Mothers on social media are advocating a tough, no-nonsense approach to parenting. Does this teach children important lessons – or just make them feel isolated and ashamed?
A couple of weeks ago, a video posted on TikTok by Paige Carter, a mother in Florida, went viral. Carter explained that she had thrown her daughter’s iPad out of the window when she had been misbehaving on the way to school, and she films herself retrieving the tablet, now with a cracked screen. The video has been watched 4.9m times, and Carter was congratulated in the comments, with one person writing “Learning Fafo at an early age: top tier parenting.” Welcome to the parenting trend that doesn’t seem to be disappearing: “Fuck around and find out.”
In another video, when a small child announces he is going to leave home, his mother says “see ya”, shuts the front door behind him, and turns off the outside light – then opens the door to him screaming and pounding to be let back in (it has been liked 1.5m times). He had learned, said his mother, “the meaning of Fafo”
I read first FIFO and was wondering what first in first out parenting meant. Children look to parents for emotional regulation, FAFO sounds like the opposite of that. Next up, FAFO adult children going no contact, for finding out reasons.
Yeah fr, people can’t seem to find balance. It’s not hard. The article goes into it as well covering how many take “gentle parenting” too literal and actually ending up doing just as bad extreme permissive parenting
Good point, gentle parenting is often misunderstood, an integral part being reliably supportive boundaries. People can and do blame social media for a perfectly curated form of parenting, but support for primary parents and community doesn’t happen out of thin air. Whose to say how a cultural shift like that could take place, but public preschool is a good start.
Yeah, watch me, as an adult, use poor problem solving skills and be your role model so that when you go out into the world and the sandwich maker gets your toppings wrong they ‘find out’ because that’s how mamma woulda done it!
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I read first FIFO and was wondering what first in first out parenting meant. Children look to parents for emotional regulation, FAFO sounds like the opposite of that. Next up, FAFO adult children going no contact, for finding out reasons.
Yeah fr, people can’t seem to find balance. It’s not hard. The article goes into it as well covering how many take “gentle parenting” too literal and actually ending up doing just as bad extreme permissive parenting
Good point, gentle parenting is often misunderstood, an integral part being reliably supportive boundaries. People can and do blame social media for a perfectly curated form of parenting, but support for primary parents and community doesn’t happen out of thin air. Whose to say how a cultural shift like that could take place, but public preschool is a good start.
Shit parents.
Yeah, watch me, as an adult, use poor problem solving skills and be your role model so that when you go out into the world and the sandwich maker gets your toppings wrong they ‘find out’ because that’s how mamma woulda done it!