Also you get to laugh at people who a) are about to have kids and think they have everything sussed and b) people who have just had kids for the first time and haven’t fully realised the enormity of what’s about to hit them.

Oh don’t worry, the little bastards absolutely brainwash you to make you think they’re the most amazing thing ever. It’s hard work, physically, mentally and every which way, but I wouldn’t be without them for the world. Bastards.