From what you wrote here; you don’t feel heard, you’re working very hard (likely way too hard for your health condition), and stress is harming your condition greatly.
You need to have a chat with your partner and explore options to get you better support. This is very serious and your partner needs to be on the same page. You’re clearly pushed to the limit. Therapy could be helpful (with or without your partner), really working with doctors in any way you can, cleaning up your diet/exercising/doing anything doctors encourage - I believe it’s necessary that you start working on a series of changes that you make (and soon) for your health.
How long can this go on? Can you keep collapsing? Is it fair to your 4 year old to see you like that on the floor? How worried is everybody about you - both spoken and unspoken?
Please take a break if you can. You need to check in with yourself, regroup with your partner - with a focus on communication and your health (emotional and physical), and find better ways of coping with stress and improving your situation.
Don’t blame yourself. You’re not a bad dad. You’re a human being who has a lot on their plate. You gotta live your life for yourself and the people around you, but that means you can’t forget or neglect yourself.
Wishing you the absolute best, reaching out for support (even here on the fediverse) is a good thing - keep doing it.
From what you wrote here; you don’t feel heard, you’re working very hard (likely way too hard for your health condition), and stress is harming your condition greatly.
You need to have a chat with your partner and explore options to get you better support. This is very serious and your partner needs to be on the same page. You’re clearly pushed to the limit. Therapy could be helpful (with or without your partner), really working with doctors in any way you can, cleaning up your diet/exercising/doing anything doctors encourage - I believe it’s necessary that you start working on a series of changes that you make (and soon) for your health.
How long can this go on? Can you keep collapsing? Is it fair to your 4 year old to see you like that on the floor? How worried is everybody about you - both spoken and unspoken?
Please take a break if you can. You need to check in with yourself, regroup with your partner - with a focus on communication and your health (emotional and physical), and find better ways of coping with stress and improving your situation.
Don’t blame yourself. You’re not a bad dad. You’re a human being who has a lot on their plate. You gotta live your life for yourself and the people around you, but that means you can’t forget or neglect yourself.
Wishing you the absolute best, reaching out for support (even here on the fediverse) is a good thing - keep doing it.