- 0 Posts
- 10 Comments
Do you know what is prompting the “attacks”? Is grandma doing something that scares her or that she thinks is aggressive? If grandma is going in for a kiss and kiddo doesn’t feel comfortable or safe with that she might lash out. Scratching her is unacceptable but I wonder if she thinks it’s defensive. You probably can tell the difference between clumsiness and aggression at that age and if it’s purposeful then I would talk to grandma about watching for nonverbal cues of nonconsent.
As far as the scratching, every kid is different, but what worked for our kid was showing that his actions hurt and upset us. At that age, rather than disciplining or doing a time out when he hit me, I tried to show the effect his behavior had on me in his own language. When he hit me, I would do my best impression of what he would do when he was hurt. So basically, I pretended to cry, and if that didn’t take I would shy away and avoid his hands. It shocked him to realize he could make the big person sad and upset and he didn’t want me to be sad, which led to genuine apologies. I would stop when he did something conciliatory, like say “sorry” in sign language, offer me an object or try to hug or pat me. As he gets older I adapt to his level of sophistication, so now I do things differently, but when he was one to two it seemed to help him conceptualize that we were also humans with feelings.
Kiddo is going through the PBJ phase so I make him one every day on whole wheat. Then a rotation of fruit like a banana, apple pieces, blueberries, raspberries, pre-peeled orange/mandarin or strawberries. I sometimes throw in a container of roasted unsalted cashews or pre-shelled pistachios. He also likes carrots with hummus, and cucumber slices with ranch dressing. I will usually put a very small container of either of those in separate with the veggies. If I get around to it sometimes I chop up a block of cheddar to make a bunch of cheddar cubes, and put some of those in with crackers.
Pretty sure the quoted parent is still just not getting it. Gentle parenting is not about allowing your kid to throw things at you or buying them the toy they beg for. It’s about understanding that your child is a small human, a future adult, and a person in their own right, and that no matter how stupid you might think the thing that they’re upset about is, they are living that stress and deserve respect too.
As the psychologist said, the key is establishing clear boundaries and that wasn’t emphasized nearly enough in the article. I think the sad truth is so many of us simply don’t know how to establish healthy boundaries with our peers, and so we don’t know how to articulate them to kids either.
I have an RL name that has a common alternate spelling and yes I need to correct people. It’s not really a big deal to me, having to give my name in a way that involves my spelling it out is not an everyday occurrence. When someone mispells it on something like a takeout order it’s fine, I really don’t care.
Honestly, Violet/Violette is really not that bad as far as spelling things differently. Violette is kind of nice, and I’d be happy it wasn’t Vylit or Vyelytte or something worse. If your main concern is that she will have to correct people, I mean… eh. It’s had little to no effect on my life. If your partner feels strongly about it and you go along with it, you will still be doing a lot better than Talula Does The Hula in Hawaii.
This is what we dealt with last time we tried childcare. We attempted to put him at a nice place at age 2, but he was just not ready and too attached to us to have a good experience. He stuck it out for a couple of months but the light left his eyes as soon as he realized we were gone. We pulled him out and kept him home for another year.
When we mentioned trying it again to him, he was immediately anxious about being left. The day we were supposed to start he was scream crying and inconsolable. The people at the daycare kept saying “just drop him off, don’t worry, we can distract him” but I didn’t want to betray his trust again. We took it slow, we went on a tour, spent some time with his teachers, and then did an hour of him playing without me there. We built up the length of time without us over a few more days, and now we have a much better foundation of trust and familiarity. He actively looks forward to going now, which is huge for him.
At this stage, truly and seriously be glad and grateful for those long sleeps and naps.
I had a ton of trouble with milk, and my baby had absolutely no interest in latching, so we did bottles supplemented with formula from day 1. There’s a perk to using the bottle, in that you, the non-nursing partner get that good 1 on 1 feeding time too. Mama can sleep and pump on her schedule, not baby’s. Consider it a blessing. If kiddo is feeding and gaining weight, you’re doing it right. As others said, fed is best.
For the first four months babies are basically Sims with four “needs” bars. They cry if they’re hungry, need to burp or their tummy is upset, if they’re lonely or if they’re dirty. They make pretty distinct faces and signals you can follow to see what they need, and you’ll get to know your kid and what those signals look like.
As far as having a smart kiddo, I recommend you try teaching them simple sign language. We started teaching our kid signs for things when he was about 5 months old, like “more”, “hungry”, “thirsty” etc and he picked up on it and started using his own signs and sounds to communicate with us when he was about 8-10 months old. It was invaluable to be able to understand and communicate with him and helped us bond and build trust very early.
There’s a lot of guff and hot air about how to make your baby smarter, but one thing that’s been consistently proven to give positive results is reading to them. Read to them from day 1 whenever you have the opportunity. Its good bonding time and they learn so much from hearing an illustrated story. My kid and I used to play “find the x” style games with the pictures on the page and he showed me he knew what an armadillo was, or a combine harvester was before he was 2, because he could point to the appropriate pictures. I never dumbed down or lessen my vocabulary with him either, and he’s proven that he’s a sponge for words.
Book recommendations:
How to speak so children will listen, and how to listen so children will speak. Some parts are dated but there are some extremely valuable tips and ideas in there too
Precious Little Sleep, Zubief, it’s a very relatable read for helping sleep train your baby when you get to that point.
We use these stick on toddler locks
I have ADHD and a tendency to forget all sorts of obvious things but using the toddler locks has just become a part of my muscle memory. Closing the oven or certain drawers just takes an extra movement now and it wasn’t too bad to adjust. The price is low enough and it’s efficacy is high enough I would recommend you at least try them before experimenting with more expensive or time consuming set-up heavy options
We just went through this too. I was honest and told him kitty was old and hurting, and that he was going to die and we were going to miss him. I told him to pet him and snuggle him and to say goodbye because he would be gone soon, and we wouldn’t see him again. I told him about death being the end of a life but I don’t think it entirely sank in. Kiddo asked a few times afterwards where the kitty was, and I reminded him that he died. I got an “oh” and sometimes “I miss [kitty]”, to which I respond with “me too” and sharing a happy memory. Definitely explain what is happening.
On another note, there are services which will come to your house for pet euthanasia. It makes it a much more peaceful experience for the pet, because they are comfortable and relaxed. I highly recommend looking for a local service like that, search “at home pet euthanasia” for your area.