Such sad times! I’m so sorry for your loss. We had a cat and a dog die when our kids were young (4&2yo when the cat died, 5&3 for the dog). It was really hard! Especially since both pets had been with me for almost 20 years… both were a big losses. We talked about it with them once it was clear that they were on their way out. We tried to keep it age appropriate and simple, but very matter of fact, no euphemisms, etc. When the time came that we decided to euthanize, we gave the kids the option if they wanted to come or not (both to the vet, and then to stay with the pet until the end). Both times, they chose to stay, and then we went out for ice cream and talked about it all a bunch, kinda trying to follow their lead whenever they wanted to talk about it. I would definitely do the same again in the future…explain what’s going to happen, what it’ll be like, then give them the option. It was hard, especially because at their ages they were also pretty focused on my response, but also it seemed like it gave them a pretty good grip on the whole thing. Maybe a sense of closure? They were sad, but it felt like healthy sad, definitely not traumatizing or anything.

It sounds like you’ve got a good approach and good advice from the comments. Frustrating, for sure, but it’s likely to take a lot of time and repetition. Something to add to your conversations with her - you might want to start asking about her feelings about stealing. What was the moment when she realized she wanted to take something, what did it feel like when she took it, how does she feel about other people’s reactions. Lots of unpack there! Maybe it’s a conversation to have away from an actual stealing incident, so that you can approach it with curiousity more than (immediate) judgement. Does she WANT to keep stealing? And if so, why? If not, does she need help coming up with strategies to deal with the feeling of wanting to steal something in the moment?