Presenting options and the illusion of choice has saved me since my kid was three. Getting out of the house in the morning was a huge struggle until I landed on, “what do you want to put on first, your shoes or your jacket?” I also don’t know what I’m doing, but I think kids simply don’t like to be told what to do, they want to do whatver they want. Presenting options gives them that agency while also getting them to do things they wouldn’t do on their own.

On the topic, nowadays my kid is very easily convinced by reverse psychology. For the hand washing, I’d probably tell him not to wash his hands and make up something silly and say “if he washes his hands and then touches me with his clean & wet hands i’ll melt because I’m made of sugar” Then when he washes his hands I’d let him chase me around a bit and pretend to melt or something. If they call my bluff I’m all out of options, but 60% of the time this works every time for me. YMMV.

I’m sorry about your cat. I would suggest scheduling it while your son’s at school, and talking to him in plain language to explain what happened. Don’t say that the cat is now living at a farm or other euphemisms, but instead be as clear as you can be to explain that the cat’s body stopped working and that the cat’s not coming home. Explain that that’s what happens to all living things when they get old and/or really really sick.

There is a book, Little Cat, Big Cat which you could get from the library to read to your son, but it’s very emotional and when I read it after our cat died, made me cry during story time.

Yes, mostly from one end, but sometimes both.

What has worked for us is to minimize time in the morning, mostly due to laziness and trying to sleep in as much as possible. Bath the night before and prep lunch ahead of time. Basically the morning just consists of getting dressed and brushing teeth, before we’re out the door. The way I think about it you’re moving so fast, you don’t let them have time to focus on anything other than getting out of the house.

Is she sleeping in her own room yet or still with you? We transitioned to being in their own room at around the 9 month mark, and that helped a lot. Before then, sleeping was a struggle, and the sleep training really helped around this time. Maybe consider this sooner rather than later if it’s this much of a problem.

With regard to the playing in the middle of the night, I’d just cut that and endure the whining for a few days until she realizes that she can’t play at night.

Assuming you’re bottle feeding, if you and your partner can adjust your sleep schedules to compensate for the 2 hour wakes, that could at least sort out your sanity. For example, if one person went to bed from 10pm - 7am and the other stayed up later and slept from 1am - 9am, then ideally the later sleeper could handle any wakes until 1am. The early sleeper could take the 3am wake, and the later sleeper could do the 5am wake. This way everyone gets about two 4h stretches at a time, and can get a full REM cycles.