I know exactly what you mean. I’ve done the same loop more than once.

Get frustrated => Vent => Realise I f@#£ed up => Apologised => Explained why I was upset, and what I actually wanted from them. => Problem fades away.

It’s a nuclear option, but effective.

Negative reinforcement has its place. It needs to be hyper targeted to be useful. If the child is not capable of the adjustment (either due to inability or not understanding) then it can mess with their head.

I’ve done the negative rant at my minion. I think all parents have. I do tend to try and temper it afterwards, with an apology, and an explanation. In many ways, that was the most useful part. It both teaches emotional regulation, by example, and provides them all the information. Knowing you’ve upset mummy or daddy is one thing. Knowing how, why, and how to fix it, is another.

I’ll note however, there are 2 sorts of tantrum. Emotional, and tactical. Your comment only applies to the latter. Emotional tantrums are a fact of life for parents. They get better, but only with life experience.

Also, the best counter to tactical tantrums is to provide an alternative outlet for their desires. My daughter learnt that, while tantrums got little headway, polite, calm, negotiations are highly effective. It makes shopping trips a lot easier.

As for tech tantrums, they can be a mix of types. Cutting them off can generate a lot of withdrawal. That has big emotions attached to it, that need to be processed. Emotional tantrums are common under those sorts of stress.