Obviously we keep the laundry door closed but in a way you just build up the appeal. One of them has figured out how to open doors by standing on his trike.

I could put some kind of stick-on toddler lock on the door but I worry it would be tough to establish the habit of closing the door and putting that lock on.

Replace the doorknob with one that incorporates a “storeroom lockset.” It’s like the normal entry lockset like you’d have on your front door, but there’s no button on the inside: it can always be opened from the inside, but requires a key from the outside every time the door shuts.

I use a storeroom lock to keep my kids out of my home networking closet. I’m thinking about putting one on the basement door, too.

(It’s not weird/exotic/expensive BTW; it’s just more common in commercial buildings than residential ones. It should cost about the same as a normal entry-lockset doorknob.)

See also: https://flyinglocksmiths.com/blog/the-five-lockset-functions/

For bonus points, install a door closer (or just a tension spring) to make sure it latches shut every time you walk away.

My best idea thus far is a timer on the power outlet. So you turn on the power and set the timer to turn it off after however long the load takes.

The problem with this is that I haven’t been able to find a count-down style timer that allows you to set periods longer than 2 hours. Most power outlet timer thingies do schedules, not count-down.

I know this maybe sounds like an easily solvable problem - just turn the power off when it’s done - but that’s just not how things roll in our house.

You could get a “smart” plug and use Home Assistant to monitor the energy usage and shut the plug off after the washer stops drawing power, but unless you already have a smart home setup that’s super overkill.

That would get rid of Jehovah’s Witnesses, but I see little reason to think it was would necessarily be effective on salespeople.

If, for some reason, you’re unwilling to treat these worthless in-person spammers with the contempt they deserve, my suggestion is to remember that “no” is a complete sentence.

No external factor is necessary to “get you out of” talking to a door-to-door salesman. It really is as simple as saying “get the fuck off my property” and slamming the door in their face.