Neighbor kids come over to play. Daughter runs out to join, “C’mon James!” 9-yo James, who just woke up, is framed in summer sunlight, staring despondently out the open door. Sotto voce, “It’s too early for this shit.” Hangs his head, stomps outside and slams the door.

What was I gonna say?! I was about to cry from holding the laughter in. My god he sounded like a tired old man. Truth be told, he sounded like his tired old man.

I had pubic lice 30-years ago, and even then we didn’t have to shave.

If you read the bottle, the “medicated” shampoo is nothing but bug killer (pyrethrin) mixed with shampoo. There is literally nothing else in it. Mix up some Raid and Pantene, good to go.

And before anyone chastises me for giving this advice or being stupid, pyrethrins are harmless to humans. They only fuck up insect nervous systems, can’t interact with mammals.

To add: Get hydro-seal bandaids. Game changing for healing. You will thank me later.