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Cake day: Aug 01, 2023

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Another far fetched change I would like to see in our society: shorter work days. I don’t think there is any real reason why we settled on 8h work days, and with the growth of productivity I see no reason why we should stay there. A shorter work day (at same pay) would allow the worker to have more time to enjoy life - and the family they chose to create.


He is learning to speak, and the latest discovery is letting me know the process of bunping into stuff (a second ago, in front of me, usually without hurting himself). He comes to me, tells me “boom” pointing at where he fell, then “aua” with the saddest face, pointing at what he supposedly hurt. Sometimes it’s even the correct spot! He often then patiently waits for a kiss on it.


My kid started hating waking up from his daily nap. I still don’t understand why or how, but at least half of the times, he wakes up so mad! And there seems to be nothing to do. At times he gets more mad if you try to comfort him. Sometimes taking in a soothing voice helps, but not always. Often giving him his pajama pants helps -and that’s the only time in the day he requires them. I don’t know if it counts as tantrum, but i can’t classify it as anything else… we usually wait it out, can take up to 20 minutes of screeching.


1.5 years old he is understanding the concept of hot, so he is learning to blow on warm food, let me know if it’s too hot and communicate this: a hand over the head is the signal for “hot”. It gets used when he passes near the oven, when I am cooking and when we serve food.


At 1.5y, diversion has started to loose its power when having to stop playing or having to leave toys. Luckily I found out that “saying goodbye” is extremely effective. It gives the kid an understanding of what is happening (we are leaving) and a moment to process the loss. So now every time we go home from the playground we say goodbye, even if there are no other people around.


“Latest hack you figured out”

As a new parent, there have been countless little hacks shared with me that really helped my life. The first one: “sometimes babies just need to cry it out” (within reason). Helped me drop the parent guilt of hearing your baby cry and not being able to fix it right away.

Latest one: if you are excited, they will likely be as well. (Experiences of potty training)


My situation has changed over the months, and the stint in which my partner was home while I was working was short, so this is based a bit on that and a bit on the following re-calibrations.

We try to divide tasks according to what we like doing. My husband likes doing the bath, while I like going out of the house with the kid. This means that those times are win-win: one parent is doing a fun task and the other is having some chill me-time. So we try to get as many of those tasks in as we can manage.

When he was home, I’d take my work commute to decompress and as soon as I was home I was in charge for at least an hour. Often, I’d be setting up a bath for the little one and my husband to enjoy. After the little one’s bath, my husband would take his own bath to chill. He would usually be responsible for dinner, but because he likes cooking and I could spend some time with the kid. After the kid was in bed, it was date time for an hour or so.

He’d have the late nights wake ups because I needed my sleep. I’d have the early morning wake ups, that were more rare.

It took a lot of communication to figure out a good balance that worked for everyone and that made us feel fulfilled. The second part became soon very important, we didn’t want to feel like all we did was changing diapers and cleaning up puke, so we needed to find things we could look forward to. Now that the kid is a bit older, it’s just fun to play with him.


Seems like the marshmallow problem. Even if she knows there is reward, she gets sidetracked.

Can you try doing your own “homework” while she has to? Like sitting down and reading a book next to her, to drop potential distractions. Maybe more actively redirecting her towards her homework?

All the best! Since you have a winner in the house, you might be able to decript what your wife does ;)


How old is she?

Kids mimic: has she seen you postponing your own “homework” until the last minute? Cooking, cleaning up and so on? In particular since you said that’s your genes at work.

Do you offer her a good moment to do her homework? Like a quiet time as soon as you both get home during which nothing exciting happens or can happen?

These are just suggestions from my own childhood, so feel free to discard everything, but I hope they can be useful to start some brainstorming!


Game suggestions for babies
My kid is crawling all over the place and learning to stand. He is little less than a year. What are some games I can start playing with him? What games did you play with your little one?
fedilink

My baby has been sleeping incredibly well since he was 3 months old. Fellow parents ask me the magic formula and, most often, when I share what we have been doing, it’s something they have already tried and didn’t work. We just are very lucky, there is honestly very little else…


New parent here. I used to think that if your kid was crying you were doing something wrong. I discovered that babies just cry. That’s the only way they can communicate, so it happens all the time. And there are different types of cry and not all of them are fixable. So now my baby at times cries in public.