We have tried several reward systems, including rejigging the rewards and earning rules numerous times. But both us and the kids would frequently forget to award them. Then the kids would remember after 2 or 3 months and it would become a headache to try to assess.

So we’ve switched to debit cards with automatic allowance transfers. There’s also an option with the system we use to reward extra money for weekly chores, all done via the mobile app. It’s very convenient. Not least because the kids usually forget to do their chores, so they rarely earn the extra $s.

Additionally, the kids usually forget about their accounts/cards (despite frequently complaining when we say no to requests for treats or extra things). So their modest weekly allowances are gradually building up to a decent little nestegg.

But yeah, I hear ya about the concern about kids having debit cards too young. There has to be a certain level of financial awareness to really cope with them. Though the counterpoint to that is: such a mechanism helps get them to that better awareness.

Edit: fixed some autocorrect errors.

I’m running into something similar with one of my kids (who is around the same age as your daughter). He’s started throwing the term “bullying” around left, right and center.

Just at a sports game today he said the coach was bullying him. I literally watched the interaction 20 seconds before he said that, and the coach was telling him sternly that he needed to play in a certain position. He said it pretty nicely to. He just had to get stern because my son want listening. The way my son put it you’d have thought the coach was smacking him around and taunting him.

So my advice is to try to observe the interactions your daughter is having first hand. Because it’s possible she’s misreading it exaggerating them. And that’s a whole nother issue.