Not my kid, but this made me laugh.

Picking my kid up from school after a funeral, I saw one of the teachers standing in the rain while sending the kids to their parents, so I stood next to him with my umbrella. One of the kids looked back at him to say goodbye, did a double take, and just stopped dead. Looking me up and down in my black suit, she asked the teacher ‘Sir, is this your butler?’

From what I’ve read online, most fruit juices are just apple juice with a bit of flavour, you’ve got nothing to worry about.

When you start eating all the green jelly babies because they’ve ‘gone bad but you don’t want to waste them’, that’s when you should start to worry