Expectations around infant sleep are often way off, says the Guardian’s assistant Opinion editor, Lucy Pasha-Robinson

I mean it elicits gasps of horror from me because I sympathize. Some kids just sleep like shit and it sucks ass for their parents. Sometimes there’s stuff you can do but kids are unique individuals.

That said, if your kid is not sleeping well, try what you can and then learn to let go. That’s really all any of us can do with our kids: give it a reasonable person effort and hope it’s enough. Many of your child’s outcomes are driven by genetic factors beyond your control or knowledge. Some of them will fail despite your best efforts. Some of the extraordinary efforts are beyond people’s means.

Sometimes you can do nothing wrong and still fail. So check, test, try, and then rest.

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