I’ve always been a fencesitter when it comes to having kids. I’m getting to a point where I think I’d like to have a kid. I don’t know if it’s because I really want one, or there’s just nothing major left on the list of life accomplishments and it’s a societal expectation.
The thing is, I can think of a million and one reasons not to have one and can’t put into words why I would want one. However, I’m starting to have a nagging feeling that I want to start trying. I just don’t know if that feeling is something I actually want, or just society telling me I should.
It doesn’t help that I don’t have a lot of small children I regularly interact with, so I honestly don’t have a clue what life would look like after kids, beyond it being a lot of stress and hard work. It also doesn’t help my spouse says it’s my choice and they’ll go along with whatever I want .
Any advice or things that helped you know it was the right choice/time for you to expand your family?
This is the source of my angst. How can I know if I truly want them or if I’ve just internalized societies expectations of me? Especially since I can’t truly make an educated choice given I don’t know how my life will change after, only that it will.
I’m really just an incredibly indecisive person and making these sort of life changing decisions that you can’t take back is impossible.
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This is the source of my angst. How can I know if I truly want them or if I’ve just internalized societies expectations of me? Especially since I can’t truly make an educated choice given I don’t know how my life will change after, only that it will.
I’m really just an incredibly indecisive person and making these sort of life changing decisions that you can’t take back is impossible.
This is why I linked to Derek Sivers’ “Hell yeah or no”. If you aren’t certain about having kids, then you should default to “no”.