Just turned 3 toddler has been saying factually untrue things and trying to get me to agree/repeat these things. They won’t let me just ignore their statements and push for an affirmation. Not affirming leads to tears and a tantrum. I’ve been just saying ‘ok’ or ‘I think you’re wrong but ok’ but mostly letting things go if they seem trivial like: ‘Ice cream is not cold!’, ‘It’s not dark yet!’, ‘Snow isn’t white’, etc… I’ve been mostly targetting statements they make about other people and their feelings or desires like ‘You’re not tired!’, ‘She doesn’t want to sing.’, ‘He’s not hungry.’, etc… and letting the meltdowns happen in those situations but my spouse is concerned that I’m making toddler believe they can have their own facts outside of reality and that I should push back every time something factually inaccurate comes up. I feel like this behavior is probably developmentally normal and like everything else, we need to target specific things to work on one at a time. Thoughts?
Me: really? And all this time I was wrong? Now I see it, it’s pink! Unicorn and rainbow pink! And grass is also pink! And water too! Everything is pink!
Just have some good laughs.
Feelings of others is more difficult and you need to be delicate to teach them respect and empathy.
But doing it in a forceful manner often has the opposite effect.
Yes, what’s important is modeling behavior, not an accurate world view at 3. It’s frustrating internally, but I just made sure my child could see that I was unfazed. I also modeled answering questions without being an authority, when appropriate “I think this is how it is” “I’m not sure, let’s find out together!”
It’s a long process, just keep your eye on emotional regulation and other bigger picture issues and don’t let your child drag you into the weeds of who is right and who is wrong, IMO.
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I would always agree and amplify.
Toddler: Snow isn’t white
Me: really? And all this time I was wrong? Now I see it, it’s pink! Unicorn and rainbow pink! And grass is also pink! And water too! Everything is pink!
Just have some good laughs.
Feelings of others is more difficult and you need to be delicate to teach them respect and empathy.
But doing it in a forceful manner often has the opposite effect.
The problem with direct pushing back is that
What is it?
Oops. That was the draft of the sentence before it.
The problem is that it backfires.
Yes, what’s important is modeling behavior, not an accurate world view at 3. It’s frustrating internally, but I just made sure my child could see that I was unfazed. I also modeled answering questions without being an authority, when appropriate “I think this is how it is” “I’m not sure, let’s find out together!”
It’s a long process, just keep your eye on emotional regulation and other bigger picture issues and don’t let your child drag you into the weeds of who is right and who is wrong, IMO.
This is also great because you’re still making it clear that their “fact” was wrong, so you’re not reenforcing that their statements reflect reality.