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This is just my advice as a no-one on the internet:

You and your father both seem really mature about this, which I respect a lot. It seems like a good time for the three of you to sit down and talk about it with your son. He’ll probably have a lot of questions and get emotional, but just give him patience and help him understand things. I don’t really see much of a reason to buy a book to do this, but I don’t have much experience with small children either

I appreciate the comment, which I take as a great compliment.

My concern is that boy’s night is fun time. This is serious time. My wife and I were discussing, she asked what I would do if the child didn’t react or said something like “Papa, when are you losing your hair yet?”

That doesn’t seem bad to me. I just don’t want to scare him or get him crying.

As per the book, my son loves book time with Mom and Dad. It’s just seems like a very effective way to communicate to him. Especially since it’s about someone else.

A few things:

  • Don’t share the worst case unless they ask. “What if” has no place in a child’s thoughts, and things have as much chance of going better than you hope, as worse.
  • Keep it simple. Answer direct questions honestly, but as simplified as possible. For example, “He’s sick.”, And “We don’t know, but we have doctors helping us care for him.”
  • Be honest, but not brutally honest. You want them to not feel burdened and to not feel lied to.
  • When choosing between truth and gentleness, chose gentleness. They’re not going to truly understand accurately anyway, so don’t burden them unecessarily.

Edit: Sending you positive energy.

I appreciate the answer, but everything I’ve read is counter to your suggestions.

Do you have any experience with this, or are you just guessing?

My grandpa got cancer when I was a teen, my youngest sibling was around 10 at the time. You’ll have to explain it as simply as possible. Things like “grandpa is sick but it’s ok, we can still visit him” and explain that his sickness is called cancer. Be honest but hopeful, you’ll have to come to reality yourself too. While late stage cancers are still lethal, their survival rates are improving every day.

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