Hello everyone. My little brother is starting pre k in a few months and a lot of people said I should try to get him time to socialize with other kids before then because he hasnt really had the chance to spend a lot of time with other kids.
Now he is very very shy and doesnt talk to anyone but me really. I tried to set up some playdates with some other parents with kids the same age and he is just way to shy to really intract with them. He just stays quiet and keeps to himself mostly. He just doesnt seem willing to want to do anything with the other kids.
So I was just wondering from anyone else with shy kids, what can I do with him that helps him practice socializing with others? I don’t want him to think it’s bad or wrong to be shy because its totally okay that he is. But I dont want him to get too overwhelmed when he goes to school with a bunch of kids for the first time and im not there.
My son is more observant than shy but a lot of people chalk it up to shy. Sometimes he’d rather watch kids play than join in, like he’s just trying to figure it out.
One thing that I think helped was me not getting involved immediately when things go wrong. It used to be we’d go to the park with a soccer ball and some kid would come up and just take the ball (usually trying to play with him) or get to close to him and he would lose it, run over to me and that would be the end of it. If I was lucky we’d stay at the park and move away from the other kids.
I tried teaching him to use his “big boy bark” and now when a kid does something he really doesn’t like he’ll handle it himself, usually just by yelling something like “stop”, “don’t do that”, “give me space”. Usually the other kid will come up to me and ask what’s wrong with him and I’ll translate “he told you not to do X, maybe you can try asking him first” and it results in the other kid being a little more concious of what they’re doing, and since my son can handle this stuff mostly himself he’s much more open to playing with other kids and continue playing if something doesn’t go his way. I can see him just letting stuff go without making a fuss now too, whether he doesn’t feel like the thing is worth his effort or he doesn’t want to upset his “new friend”.
While writing this out I realized my 3 year old almost exclusively plays with older kids, maybe it’s because they can somewhat grasp the stuff he’s trying to get accross? I think whenever we play with kids his age he gets frustrated and they try to touch him a lot which he doesn’t tolerate well.
Then again they’re kids and I don’t have a single clue what I’m doing or they’re thinking. I think the big boy bark is a good tool to have though, we got the idea from a bluey episode and I just annoyed the shit out of him for a few days straight and by the end of it he was telling me exactly what he didn’t like in a very clear voice
Here in Korea there are so called Kids Cafes which are basically indoor playgrounds where you pay an entrance fee. There are often quite many children different ages and we take our kids there sometimes.
The more obvious one would be just the normal public playground, check when other kids usually are there and join them. If you do it regularly you will find that there are more or less the same children there at the same time.
But the biggest problem for the child in first day Kindergarten is that their parent suddenly disappears, over time they get used to it bit even after years in Kindergarden there are days where they don’t want to go :D
My daughter is currently at the phase where she is starting to play with others instead of only next to others. It took her over a year to steadily get there. Some children are shy, others are outgoing. My recommendation is to not be discouraged if there is little or no interaction between the children - that will come eventually.
As I understand, a primary function of kindergarten is exactly that socialization. An awful lot of kids spend the first day crying. I did. He’ll be fine.
How old is your brother, different places start Pre-K at different ages? If he’s younger than 3 that’s pretty normal, social play starts at between 3-4 yrs.
If you’re still trying to socialize him try taking him to the park, bring a soccer ball and kids will just randomly join in. Check if the library has any events for his age as well.
Playing near other kids comes before playing with other kids. Even if he’s playing ball or playground or going for a walk with you while being around other kids, he’s still learning.
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My son is more observant than shy but a lot of people chalk it up to shy. Sometimes he’d rather watch kids play than join in, like he’s just trying to figure it out.
One thing that I think helped was me not getting involved immediately when things go wrong. It used to be we’d go to the park with a soccer ball and some kid would come up and just take the ball (usually trying to play with him) or get to close to him and he would lose it, run over to me and that would be the end of it. If I was lucky we’d stay at the park and move away from the other kids.
I tried teaching him to use his “big boy bark” and now when a kid does something he really doesn’t like he’ll handle it himself, usually just by yelling something like “stop”, “don’t do that”, “give me space”. Usually the other kid will come up to me and ask what’s wrong with him and I’ll translate “he told you not to do X, maybe you can try asking him first” and it results in the other kid being a little more concious of what they’re doing, and since my son can handle this stuff mostly himself he’s much more open to playing with other kids and continue playing if something doesn’t go his way. I can see him just letting stuff go without making a fuss now too, whether he doesn’t feel like the thing is worth his effort or he doesn’t want to upset his “new friend”.
While writing this out I realized my 3 year old almost exclusively plays with older kids, maybe it’s because they can somewhat grasp the stuff he’s trying to get accross? I think whenever we play with kids his age he gets frustrated and they try to touch him a lot which he doesn’t tolerate well.
Then again they’re kids and I don’t have a single clue what I’m doing or they’re thinking. I think the big boy bark is a good tool to have though, we got the idea from a bluey episode and I just annoyed the shit out of him for a few days straight and by the end of it he was telling me exactly what he didn’t like in a very clear voice
I have no clue what im doing either. But we also love Bluey!
Here in Korea there are so called Kids Cafes which are basically indoor playgrounds where you pay an entrance fee. There are often quite many children different ages and we take our kids there sometimes.
The more obvious one would be just the normal public playground, check when other kids usually are there and join them. If you do it regularly you will find that there are more or less the same children there at the same time.
But the biggest problem for the child in first day Kindergarten is that their parent suddenly disappears, over time they get used to it bit even after years in Kindergarden there are days where they don’t want to go :D
My daughter is currently at the phase where she is starting to play with others instead of only next to others. It took her over a year to steadily get there. Some children are shy, others are outgoing. My recommendation is to not be discouraged if there is little or no interaction between the children - that will come eventually.
As I understand, a primary function of kindergarten is exactly that socialization. An awful lot of kids spend the first day crying. I did. He’ll be fine.
Thanks. I just want him to know its okay to make new friends
How old is your brother, different places start Pre-K at different ages? If he’s younger than 3 that’s pretty normal, social play starts at between 3-4 yrs.
If you’re still trying to socialize him try taking him to the park, bring a soccer ball and kids will just randomly join in. Check if the library has any events for his age as well.
He’s 4
Playing near other kids comes before playing with other kids. Even if he’s playing ball or playground or going for a walk with you while being around other kids, he’s still learning.